Audi’s chunky boi twin-turbo V8 is far more fun than it should be but remains one of my favourite ever cars. Largely because it’s brilliant.

Big, heavy SUVs are not really my thing. I understand why people want them even if I don’t agree with them. The Q8 is a phenomenal car but I can’t for the life of me work out why you’d necessarily want to drive one every day.

For a bombing run between capitals, it’s almost unmatched. Smooth, refined, quiet and in hybrid form, almost frugal.

Big, heavy, fast SUVs, now there’s something different. They are and always will be my guilty pleasure because of the sheer silliness of them. There is one, however, that sits at the top of the pile.

As luck would have it, it’s this one – the Audi RSQ8.

Words: Peter Anderson
Images: Blake Currall
Co-pilots: Mark Dewar and Blake Currall

How much is an Audi RSQ8 Performance and what do I get?

Audi RSQ8 Performance: $255,800 + ORC
As tested: $284,200

A quarter of a mill is a lot of money for a car by anyone’s measure but one has to put things into perspective. A Lamborghini Urus, the closest analog to the RSQ8, is another $200,000 for the base model. You can probably look at a Cayenne GTS for a lower starting price but to match the RSQ8 or even the one I tested, you will be paying more and getting less power and performance.

Anyway.

When this RSQ8 reaches your drive it will have 23-inch (!) Audi Sport alloys, RS front and rear bumpers and various blacked-out trims, carbon ceramic brakes, adaptive air suspension, all-wheel steering, HD Matrix LED headlights with laser light, OLED taillights with chequered flag design (RSQ8 only), keyless entry and start, panoramic glass roof, RS sports front seats with heating and venitlation, valcona leather with honeycomb stitching, Nappa leather on the armrests and centre console bin lid, air quality package with fragrances (ooh, er), 12.3-inch digital dashboard, wireless Apple CarPlay and Android Auto, 10.1-inch and 8.6-inch touchscreens with haptic feedback, adaptive cruise, around-view cameras, four-zone climate control, head-up display, front and rear parking sensors and a full-size spare.

I kid, you just get a can of goo. But you get everything else in that list and more.

But wait, there is more. This car had Audio Sport paint for $1800 which is quite restrained for Audi paint prices. Ascari blue is a lovely colour and worth every penny.

The $4800 RS Design Package Plus adds an Alcantara steering wheel, Dinamica replacing the Nappa on the armrests, and centre console, blue seatbelts, lots of blue stitching and more Dinamica in the back seat.

On top of that is the matt carbon black and exterior styling package for – deep breath – $9800, which adds matt carbon front spoiler, rear trim and diffuser element, blacked out side window trims, matt carbon single frame mask (ie the grille outline) in matt carbon as well as the exterior mirror caps. It looks great but ten large for it is purely cosmetic. At least you’re unlikely to chin the front spoiler given its ride height.

And the $9700 sensory package crams the RSQ8 with 23 Bang and Olufsen branded speakers, dinamica headlining and front seat massage function. A weird collection of things, but here we are.

And finally, the Audi rings on this car were anthracite grey for $700 and some interior inlays were in a fetching – you guessed it – matt carbon for a further $2300.

And the matt black wheels were a no-cost option.

I’d go into the safety gear, but there’s tons of it and there’s nothing missing. More to the point, it doesn’t bing and bong incessantly.

Look and feel

The RSQ8 is deceptively small-looking. It really does look a lot smaller than it is, the same effect Hyundai pulled off the with the Ioniq 5. Although given how much bigger the Q8 is, the trick has a much higher level of difficulty.

The car I had had a lot of exterior carbon elements and the Audi logo in anthracite. Looks pretty mean but the Ascari Blue stops it from looking too agro. The black wheels are a no-cost option and I reckon they’d be a regretful choice because they won’t play well with kerbs.

As is the case with Audi, the visual mods are restrained, with just the whopping exhausts really giving the game away. The subtle wide body effect is dampened by the lower ride height, but as ever, it looks terrific. It could have looked like an absolute barge, but like the Q7, visual heft wasn’t the aim.

I remain very taken with this generation of Audi interior. While the new one – as seen in the A5 – is pretty good, I like the lower centre screen position and the less tech-dominant layout. I must be getting old.

As you can see, the seats have the cool blue RS logos and stitching, which I think will age really well. The mix of leather, Alcantara and Dinamica also will age well but I will say the Alcantara on the steering wheel made the rim feel a little thin.

It all looks terrific and is put together beautifully. The slightly mad B&O speaker count means lots of logs and those funny tweeters on the dashboard.

Front seat dwellers have tons of space and I love the shifter, it’s so jet fighter that I rest my hand on it (no, I don’t think I’m Maverick and I have never seen Top Gun)(but I have seen Hot Shots).

The carbon inlays actually look really good and the blue RS stitching is genuinely cool.

Those who rode in the back praised the amphitheatre seating. The seat is set higher than you might expect and is you are swimming in space. You have so much legroom, it’s like a limo back there. And hugely comfortable, including dual-zone climate control for the rear passengers and plenty of vents to get the air to you.

Wireless CarPlay matches the wireless charging. There are charging ports aplenty, too.

Drivetrain

Audi RSQ8 Performance
Engine:	4.0-litre twin-turbo V8 mild hybrid
Power:	471kW @ 6000rpm
Torque:	850Nm @ 2300-4500rpm
0-100km/h:	3.6 seconds
Fuel economy:	12.2L/100km (claimed)

The RSQ8’s V8 has to be one of the all-time greats. This incredibly smooth and well-mannered thing conjures up a thundering 471kW (nearly 650bhp!), 30kW more than the “base”car we don’t get here. Maximum torque arrives early-ish at 2300rpm and sticks around for a further 2200rpm delivering 850Nm of twist.

Putting the turbos inside the V means much a shorter distance for the exhaust gases to travel and spin up the turbos, reducing lag.

Naturally power goes to all four wheels via an eight-speed ZF (it’s highly unlikely the seven-speed twin clutch could comfortably handle the torque) and a mechanical centre diff can send up to 85 percent of power to the rear.

Chassis

Brakes are gigantic carbon ceramics, measuring 420mm at the front and and 370mm at the rear. The massive front calipers have ten pistons, which is just as well because the RSQ8 is well over 2500kg.

The rear diff is a quattro sport limited-slip unit.

It’s all held off the ground by air suspension which can vary the ride height by up to 90mm, meaning a maximum clearance of 200mm. It looks proper when it’s dropped to the weeds, though.

This car rode on Pirelli P Zeros, with 265/35 ZR23s at the front and 295/35 ZR23s at the rear. That’s a lot of (very expensive) rubber.

The RSQ8 also sports all-wheel steering which is great for moving it around in tight spaces but also…well, that’s in the next bit.

Driving

Long ago I decided that I didn’t much like SUVs and as the endless boom goes on, I like them less. A few years into the craze, performance SUVs started appearing and that become my secret guilty pleasure. I was entranced by the idea something so far off the ground could be any fun at all.

Audi nailed that with the original RSQ3, a searingly silly car with that bonkers five cylinder engine. The SQ5 diesel original was another, a ludicrously quick mid-sizer that defied physics, both physical and auditory.

Then came the SQ7 with that incredible 1000Nm diesel engine.

BMW and Merc had hits and misses but Audi’s hit rate with SUVs is by far the best.

Then – oh, boy – then came the RSQ8 with its twin-turbo V8 petrol. The Q8 is already a spectacular blend of style and practicality, the recently-arrived PHEV is brilliant and the SQ8 similarly excellent with its blend of amazing interior comfort and that amazing diesel V8.

But this thing is something else. It’s more than a lifted RS6 – at least the old one – it’s its own thing. I’ve already said the engine appears mild-mannered and in the days of PPFs and noise regs, it has to be. It bumbles about town without any faffing or shunting, courtesy of ZF’s always excellent eight-speed.

The quattro system never really makes itself known and the air suspension keeps it all in check without getting into porpoising as so many do. You could mistake it for the aforementioned PHEV if you never go past quarter throttle. Or look at the fuel gauge.

Sure it’s a bit of a pain to park with the big wheels but the all-wheel steer makes it as manoeuvrable as an A3.

But really, you don’t buy an RSQ8 to pretend you’re in a Q8 TFSI. While it’s like most RS cars in that it doesn’t shout about it – the VW Group has much shoutier brands if you’re that way inclined – point this thing at a good road and you’re in for a massive treat.

Co-pilot Mark and I use a road we both know very well. We picked a dry evening, fired up the incredible headlights, put it in RS mode and away we went. Honestly, I will remember this drive until the day I die.

The road has everything and the RSQ8 handled all of it without a single moment of doubt. How the chassis engineers bolted 23s to air suspension and made them work is probably worth an entire doctoral thesis. But also to deliver one of the most stable platforms in such a big heavy car is something else.

At full noise the V8 is just the right side of elegantly sonorous, hurling this asteroid of a machine down the road at improbable speed, hyperspace-jumping to the legal limit. The chassis stays flat and composed, eating up the lumps and bumps and shrugging off the imperfections that tug at the wheel in lesser machines.

The all-wheel steering is dialled in beautifully. I remember folks panicking at the way the Megane RS would turn in, way sharper than expected. It took a while to get used to. Like the suspension, the RS engineers have somehow managed to make it intuitive at all speeds, the front end darting into corners and the rears hanging on whether you squeeze or stomp the throttle.

It’s exhilarating in a way an A45 could only dream of. There’s nothing else like it – X6 M included – and this is probably the swansong for this car before hybridisation changes it. It might make it better but it won’t be as vividly, hilariously fun.

Or Audi could put it to pasture for good, with nothing but happy memories remaining.

Redline Recommendation

Well, obviously, yes. For most of us – myself included – this is a hypothetical but this car is underrated and legendary at the same time.

Mark and I talked about how in a few years when they’re cheap and careless second, third or tenth owners haven’t maintained them properly, there will be opportunities to strip out the weightier broken things, drop it to the weeds and create an epic tarmac rally car or hilarious track car.

But in the here and now, this is the closest car on the planet that is all things to all people. A comfortable, roomy family SUV with a huge boot and heaps of luxury. But also an absolutely mental sports car. It’s expensive to buy and one would expect incredibly expensive to run and insure but hoo-boy, you don’t get all of that for nothing.